Pillows cover the right side of my bed, while the wall covers my left. I was afraid that a girl in a white glowing dress with a messy long hair would appear somewhere, or that my doppelganger would come to replace me. On nights when I’m really scared, I would hide under the blanket just to fall asleep.
But on times like this, when I’m sane and normal, I wonder why I’m scared. And what I am really afraid of.
Others are afraid of falling in love. You might be afraid of riding the roller coaster. My friends and I are afraid of whatever happens next after college. Our mothers are afraid of their child getting sick while the fathers of marrying off their daughters. We are afraid of death, or at least most of us. With the idea of it, with what comes after it.
Big or small, we are afraid of something. And they become little monsters that stop us from doing anything we might find wonderful. They are potholes on the road that make us look for another way around, when what could wait ahead is a beautiful destination. They make us cowards when we should be brave. And I don’t mean Dauntless brave. Just the proper brave.
But why are we afraid? Really. I could write down a long list of things that I’m afraid of. But not a single acceptable reason as to why. We live once, they say. And reasons will just sound like excuses.
So let go. Escape and be free. I’m not telling you to be afraid no more. ‘Coz I don’t think it’s possible. I’m telling you to try and overcome it. Don’t think too much. Take baby steps. And try. It’s not wrong to be afraid, what’s wrong is to stay afraid.
It is not too hard to think of a theme for a blog. What’s harder is the thought of keeping it. I was afraid to start this one. But I let go, escaped out of my comfort zone, and set free. We should all do. I guess.
I believe I just took the first step to finding what I really want. By creating this blog. And I hope this will be where I’ll share any bittersweet sensation I’ll ever feel.
But if this turns out to be something I have no taste for, then I guess the monsters are right. At least just for this one.