This is one of the what ifs in life. Sometimes we don’t have enough courage to say the things we want to. And they’re frustrating. You have it all figured out on your mind, exactly how you want to spit them out, but you couldn’t. We are only brave in our imaginations. When the right time presents itself, we even find it hard to look into the person’s way, let alone express themselves.
This is almost always the case. At least to me. And I always wonder about what could have happened had I told them what I was supposed to say. Right now there’s one person I really want to be friends with even though we’re not of the same age (sort of like a mentor), and I’ve thought every possible scenario in my mind on how to open that up to her, but I couldn’t. One of the plans was to come to her and ask could we be friends? straight up. But it’s hard. And it’s somehow complicated.
The only solution I could think of at the moment is to write. Somehow it eases up your emotions. Think about the person and write about the things you wanna tell them directly but couldn’t. If you’re brave enough, send them a letter. Sounds like a risk, but at least the words won’t haunt you; at best, the person would reply the way you expect them to, and at worst, they will do nothing at all.
I get over the things I didn’t say after some time. But just like all the memories we suddenly remember and the moments we suddenly miss, there will come a day in our life when the things we didn’t say will finally knock on our doors, only to haunt us.