Strange

Inks and Pain

It has become unusually harder for me to create bittersweet stories which evoke a bit of melancholia ever since pain stopped knocking on my heart.

I am questioning myself if I could still feel something, anything—anger, bitterness, frustration, shame, love, sadness—towards some certain people in my life and how important that emotion is in our relationship, but I’m afraid at times I feel empty because there is nothing to feel.

I oppose being empty, my mind resists engaging at the very thought of it, my heart stubbornly refuses to believe it is real, that it could happen, especially to me.

I who have joined the bandwagon of cold people claiming they have empty hearts when they are really just lonely. I who turned sadness into art whenever tears reach the tip of my tongue, or even when tears haven’t come. I who became overly familiarized with pain that I recognize it in other people’s eyes and understand it with my heart. I who thinks of welcoming pain again in my life, just so I could divert my attention in feeling nothing when there could be everything, or even just a thing.

The rain used to make my ink bleed with pain, now I’m asking pain to make my ink bleed when it rains.

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6 thoughts on “Inks and Pain

  1. I am going through the same exact period.. my heart and my blog has been emotionally dead for quite a while now .. words dont come to me like they used to . And i cant find a refill for it anywhere ..

    Liked by 1 person

  2. eloisabunny says:

    Looks great! I like your blog cause it’s simple yet appealing to readers. Nice content. If you have time, maybe you could also visit my blog. Thanks! 🙂 Have a great day!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. There must have something happened in your life if you’re feeling this way. Don’t worry and do not concentrate on this. Give time to the time. In some days, weeks or months (depends on what happened) when something funny happens, you’ll laugh, sad – you’ll cry. Don’t worry. Everything’s gonna be alright)))

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: feel no more | Bittersweet Sensations

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