live with lies

Poetry

My throat hurts
so bad,
I can’t speak.

A big chunk of fear
blocking the way,
preventing courage
to pass by
and push honesty
outside.

My throat hurts
so bad,
I have to lie.

I push honesty aside.

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Individuals

Strange

self-indie-guy-individual-fright

I could easily incorporate love in today’s prompt. A mere mention of expressing one’s emotion to someone else sounds frightening enough. And the next thing most millennials are afraid of: falling in love.

Or I could also write down a list of things that scares me, like speaking in front of a crowd or dyeing my hair blonde, with matching explanations why they scare me and how to get rid of them.

But I will always go back to my first post, What Are We Afraid Of.

Big or small, we are afraid of something. But why are we afraid? Really. I could write down a long list of things that I’m afraid of. But not a single acceptable reason as to why. We live once, they say. And reasons will just sound like excuses.

However, I suddenly thought of something that could be the most terrifying yet: how my mind works and what I could do to myself, or to anyone, for that matter. Maybe the thing that we’re most scared to do is what we can do when all we think of is ourselves.

Come In With The Rain | Swift Saturdays

Swift Saturdays

But I don’t wanna have to go that far

.

We all had this idea at one time or another.

Why do I have to that for him, he’s not that special.
Who is that girl for me to do this?
He’s decent and respectable and that is why.
She’s still my friend, but that’s too much!

The question is why. Why don’t we want to go that far?

I have two reasons. First, I’m not courageous enough to go that far. This is also one of those times I overthink. You process the whole situation and the pros and cons, yet you still feel like it’s all wrong. Coz this means that you’re going out of your comfort zone. You cringe at the thought of doing something that could fail, that could make you feel bad, that could humiliate you. And no one would like that.

Second, in some way, I know that it will hurt my pride. This is hard to explain especially because we take our pride differently. But we all know that feeling, right? No matter how many times we tell ourselves that we should forget about that at least once in a while, it’s still hard. We can’t just bring ourselves onto something we know we might regret doing.

But going that far to do something could turn out nice as well. It all depends on the situation—what’s at stake, who’s involved, and more. Maybe our pride would automatically step away and the hero within us would come out when the moment is right.

Swift Aftertaste

Bitter: The taste of doing something you never thought you’d do. And/or the taste of doing nothing because of our own reasons.

Sweet: The taste of our comfort zones. And/or the taste of whatever good happens once you step out of it.

Swift Discussion

Why don’t you want to go that far?