not welcome

It’s in that moment
when our eyes locked
and your gaze
doesn’t feel the same
that I felt shame
for entering
a maze
with no end.
But then again,
I wasn’t welcomed
in the first place.


nothing stays here

Yeah, he was.

He was my first kiss.
And it felt right.

It felt so right, honestly.

But I had to stop.
Coz he has a girlfriend back then.

He was in a relationship.
Which he eventually broke off.
For me.

And if you look at it
from a third person’s perspective
I’m a bad girl.
A relationship-wrecker.

I’m a slut
as what the society
would love to call it.

Though nothing
more than a fiery kiss
a much-awaited one at that
ever happened between us.

Not even our own relationship.

For even though
love begins
doesn’t mean
love grows.

And stays.

Daily Post’s Complicated




It was
the first time
and it wouldn’t
be the last.

I watched
my heart
lose its mind
with a mask.

The self
grew fonder
to the man
in the dark.

Two bodies
dancing vile
in a room
full of spark.

Discover Challenge: Opening Line


the sexiest relationship

“The sexiest kind of relationship in this world is true friendship between a man and a woman.”

I don’t think I need to say more about this quote. Only that it was from the Korean drama series “It’s Okay, That’s Love.”

This is in response to the blog event Writer’s Quote Wednesday.

Short Story

The Sun and The Rain

The sun and the rain met earlier. He waited for her. They seldom see each other, and he misses her. Their love is one that you would call complicated, forbidden even.

What the rain dampens the sun dries up. When the rain arrives the sun fades out. But in times when they can no longer endure the rules of the universe, in times when they terribly miss each other, they defy their gods and misbehave.

Oh they make the sweetest pair when they meet. The searing heat of the sun breaks the frigid chill of the rain, making the perfect condition one could only wish.

Gentle, fine, steady. They make love like they can hold each other forever—not rushing it even though they don’t see much, couldn’t see much.

The sun and the rain met earlier. Their time was short, their relationship forbidden, but they love each other.

And somehow, that was enough.





Blank. It’s difficult to think when you don’t know what to think about. The cream colored wall doesn’t turn into valleys or beaches or places I would want to visit. They remain still. Just like my state of being.

Stiff. Lying on the top of my roof was pointless. The stimulating clouds that help me create provocative ideas are dull and quiet, vague and indeterminate. Just like my relationship with the man I love.

Naked. The dark turquoise sea is calling me, crying for her unguarded existence. Little did she know that the human she chose is also out in the open—exposed, defenseless. Just like my heart that was torn apart.

Spare. Standing in the woods is dispiriting; the trees were tortured once more. They didn’t have mercy. Just like you. To me.


Dating and Secrets

Most people make a decision not because that’s what they want, but because that’s what they should pick. Which I think is funny. For once again, we let the society dictate our happiness.

There’s a reason why I’m secretive most of the time. It takes a while before I share problems to friends coz 1) they also have something to mind for their own, 2) I want to get through the obstacle first, or at least be halfway there, and 3) no one really cares (why? look at 1). I’m not being a pessimist here, I’m just being honest. But I wouldn’t go on talking about problems. You could read this if you want. I looked it up after writing 3.

As selfish as it may sound, I want certain things to keep to myself. Dating, for example. I wouldn’t tell my friends that I’m seeing someone (I wouldn’t even tell them if I like someone). But I wouldn’t keep it for a long time either. Just a few months or so. Because I want to be sure.

In this day and age, it’s hard to know whether you really like something or someone or you just like it because the people around you do. It’s a world full of uncertainties and you wouldn’t want your mind messed up all the damn time. Almost everything is digital now that once your friends find out the name of your date, the next step would definitely be a search online. Then comes their judgments, opinions, and whatnot. And those are the things that I’m avoiding.

It’s not that I don’t want to hear what they think, it’s because I want to hear my thoughts clearer. No matter how much I say to myself that it’s still my decision, their sentiments will not remain unheard. It will creep into my mind and somehow influence my choice. I value my friends, but I will not go about seeking their approval on something that will primarily change my life. (Although I actually think that in this aspect, all of us are the same. And I know we’ll support each other.)

So until I make up my mind into something, specifically liking someone or dating and wanting to spend more time with him, I will not share it to my friends (even my mom?). We have to listen more to ourselves than the people around us on things like this. Because only then can we tell ourselves that the decision is ours and definite.