rain & streetlights

Poetry

I have a thing for rain
and streetlights

All the stories of pain
love combine

Shadows concealing your grief
at night

A mysterious fury the soul
can’t define

I have a thing for wind
and footsteps

All the mistakes of thirst
hearts ingest

Secrecy trailing desire
after sunset

A provocative tryst the skin
can’t suppress

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what lies behindĀ 

Poetry

Promises behind every look in the eye

Meaning behind every word they say

Secrets behind every scent you acquire

Fiction behind every chuckle I make

Secret Love

Poetry

girl-boy-couple-secret-love

In a parallel universe
where all the wrongs
are right,
I won’t have to dream
of you a thousand
times.

I’ll scream your name
at the top of my
lungs.
I’ll stand beside you
until the casket
drops.

You’ll pull me closer
for a kiss in the
sun.
You’ll sleep with me
until the moon is
gone.

We won’t have to worry
how to win the
fight.
We won’t have to hide
to your lovely
wife.

Writing 101’s Task: One-word Inspiration. [Photo]

Dating and Secrets

Strange

Most people make a decision not because that’s what they want, but because that’s what they should pick. Which I think is funny. For once again, we let the society dictate our happiness.

There’s a reason why I’m secretive most of the time. It takes a while before I share problems to friends coz 1) they also have something to mind for their own, 2) I want to get through the obstacle first, or at least be halfway there, and 3) no one really cares (why? look at 1). I’m not being a pessimist here, I’m just being honest. But I wouldn’t go on talking about problems. You could read this if you want. I looked it up after writing 3.

As selfish as it may sound, I want certain things to keep to myself. Dating, for example. I wouldn’t tell my friends that I’m seeing someone (I wouldn’t even tell them if I like someone). But I wouldn’t keep it for a long time either. Just a few months or so. Because I want to be sure.

In this day and age, it’s hard to know whether you really like something or someone or you just like it because the people around you do. It’s a world full of uncertainties and you wouldn’t want your mind messed up all the damn time. Almost everything is digital now that once your friends find out the name of your date, the next step would definitely be a search online. Then comes their judgments, opinions, and whatnot. And those are the things that I’m avoiding.

It’s not that I don’t want to hear what they think, it’s because I want to hear my thoughts clearer. No matter how much I say to myself that it’s still my decision, their sentiments will not remain unheard. It will creep into my mind and somehow influence my choice. I value my friends, but I will not go about seeking their approval on something that will primarily change my life. (Although I actually think that in this aspect, all of us are the same. And I know we’ll support each other.)

So until I make up my mind into something, specifically liking someone or dating and wanting to spend more time with him, I will not share it to my friends (even my mom?). We have to listen more to ourselves than the people around us on things like this. Because only then can we tell ourselves that the decision is ours and definite.

[Photo]

Drawer

Poetry

He saw me holding on to you
We sat there for a few minutes
This is gonna be an issue
He’ll find out our secrets

All this time you were good to me
Keeping both our feelings hidden
You even gave me a gold vintage key
As our relationship sweetly deepens

But now that he knows about us
I’m sure he will try to interfere
Sorry I have to leave you this fast
My precious maple drawer, my dear

I Keep Goals To Myself

Sweet

Whenever I want something, I write them down. It feels more real that way. And, of course, organized. This includes my goals. Though I don’t use the term goal often, I know that it’s the appropriate word.

Just before the year 2014 ended, I grabbed a bear notepad and wrote down the things I wanna start for this year. One of them is this blog. And I’m really happy that I found out about the course Blogging 101. It helped me a great deal on starting this and wanting to do more. It’s also because of that that I was able to sign up for Blogging 201.

Our first task on the 201 course is to set three goals for our blogs. I’m telling you, if not for today’s assignment, I wouldn’t have a clear notion of what I wanna achieve for the next few weeks and months. I’ve already written down my goals and I will do my best to accomplish them.

Now, regarding the title of this post, it’s true. I keep goals to myself. And more. My friends sometimes call me secretive. I don’t know, maybe I find keeping secrets fun. Or I’m just afraid that if I fail and the others knew about my goals it would agonize me more than I would had they not know.

But really, it’s because I want to do things alone. Independently. All by myself. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I wouldn’t need help. I’m just saying it’s a different kind of feeling when you succeed in something because of your own efforts. I ask for assistance at times to people around me when I really need it, but indirectly. I don’t tell them of my plans but I give them a concrete example so they could give me proper answers. Whatever it is, I find ways.

It’s a pleasure making your own plans and doing your own thing. Just like when we’re shopping alone, we could go about the mall back and forth, up and down, round and round, and still feel good about it. Coz once we’re done, we’d sigh heavily, and breathe “Finally!”