Warm tears run down our cold faces. Their movement is so sure, leaving a trail in the process. Sometimes the flow never stops, sometimes a drop or two is enough. And us, 20s girls, they say we cry a lot. And I agree. Tears swell up in our eyes when we remember the past, when we miss someone, when we watch a melodramatic love story, when we hear something bad directed to us, or even when we just feel like.
I know I am blunt, but I was never this emotional before. My face could be as hard as stone when I want to, looking as if I’m not hurting, looking as if I don’t care. But things change, and so are people.
Now I give a little more freedom to my emotions. My actions are not as calculated. My expressions not as restrained. I’m starting to open up more of myself. I’m becoming braver, doing things I’d rather keep in my mind before. I constantly discover new things about me—my preferences, beliefs, and desires. Every day, I delve deeper into who I am and what I am, picking up the broken pieces of a mirror scattered everywhere, anywhere. In the future, maybe before I die, the mirror will be whole at last. And I’ll be able to look at the entirety of my soul, in the finest and most absolute way.
But now, I’m just wandering around on the journey of my 20s life, having turned 20 last January. I hear a lot of things about it. Some say it’s the best part, some say it’s the hardest. But we all know that it depends on the person’s perspective. Like me who’s already enjoying it.
I believe that all of us in our 20s have a lot of figuring out to do—the what, who, how, and why. And of course the when and where also matters. I hope I’ll figure mine in a beautiful and exciting way, with just the right amount of wild and crazy and strange. It’s still intriguing to me, but it feels right. Even though there are yet the lengthy roads to drive along, the crashing waves to surf through, and the giant mountains to climb up. Because like I said, I’m just wandering, right? Well, at least as of the moment. But I’m certain that at the months to come, I’ll start to run. Then drive, then surf, then climb.
This is in response to the blog event Twenty Somethings. Please click the photo for the credit.
Bittersweet Sensations 