a lamppost story

the lone girl waiting

moon appearing

clouds screaming

look at the pictures and tell me how your own story unfolds right your very eyes until you wanted to stop reading and actually write down your thoughts because the characters are introducing themselves and the conflict is slowly building and you know you’ve been waiting for this a very long time but the clock is ticking and the sun will eventually leave the sky and the lampposts but most importantly the girl who took these photographs until she gave up anticipating for someone to come

The Heart and The Brain

About a month ago, the heart finally decided to team up with the brain in moving on.

Both organs are getting tired of fighting each other—the heart wants to wait but the brain knows there’s nothing to wait—and it weakens the soul. The brain posted a challenge to the heart: be as pathetic as you can be for a month but let go after that. The heart agreed, but with that came the most of most pain it ever felt, which the brain thought was necessary in moving forward.

And the brain was right. It was only halfway through the month when the heart felt lighter after all those times of hoping. Yes, it felt the most of most pain, but that taught the heart what the brain has long understood, that there’s no chance and waiting will never be done.

The heart sighed and muttered: I’ve wasted my time. But the brain disagreed, “No, you didn’t. All hearts traverse different paths to healing. What matters now is you found your way. And we turned your sadness into art, which is the best thing that came out of your loneliness.”

Both organs have closed the gap between the idea of freedom and actually being free. The heart need not finish the rest of the month and the brain need not look out for the heart. They are enjoying each other’s company and it strengthens the soul, everyone is happy.

But the human to which they belong could only be free for the time being, until the heart and brain fights again.

Discover Challenge: Mind the Gap

The Star Closest to The Moon

The star closest to the moon anticipates this time of the day like any other star in the universe, when the moon is about to come out and stay with them. But his spot is the most coveted of all, he could bask in the glory of the most beautiful creature the stars have ever seen, the majestic moon.

Ever since this star learned that the sparks from his skin are the moon’s guide in finding her place, the star worked hard to shine more. Even though his brightness cannot be appreciated by the weird creatures below to which they shine for because it’s the moon they look at, it’s fine with him, for he knows that the moon appreciates him.

Appreciate. It has become the word he loathes the most. The moon appreciates him. The moon just appreciates him, unlike the sun she loves so much. The star could witness every day how the moon would linger so just she could gaze at the sun from afar. Then all the other stars would sleep because the sight is such a pity to behold, they don’t want to see the moon hurting—for the whole universe knows that the sun and the rain are seeing each other, no matter how forbidden their love is. And the sun wouldn’t even look at the majestic moon, the most beautiful creature the star has ever seen.

It’s ironic how the star would shine for the moon, how the moon would linger for the sun, how the sun and the rain would fight for their love, and how this weird creature below would root for the star.

It is proof enough that one’s existence in this universe would never go unnoticed, no matter how we think of it as such.

P.S. This story is connected with The Sun and The Rain. I also had a hard time looking for the photo’s source but my search led me here.

The Sun and The Rain

The sun and the rain met earlier. He waited for her. They seldom see each other, and he misses her. Their love is one that you would call complicated, forbidden even.

What the rain dampens the sun dries up. When the rain arrives the sun fades out. But in times when they can no longer endure the rules of the universe, in times when they terribly miss each other, they defy their gods and misbehave.

Oh they make the sweetest pair when they meet. The searing heat of the sun breaks the frigid chill of the rain, making the perfect condition one could only wish.

Gentle, fine, steady. They make love like they can hold each other forever—not rushing it even though they don’t see much, couldn’t see much.

The sun and the rain met earlier. Their time was short, their relationship forbidden, but they love each other.

And somehow, that was enough.

[Photo]

The Relationship We Never Had

April 24, 2025

Ian sent me a text last night. “Happy 4th anniversary to the relationship we never had… !”

For a while I thought of what happened on the 23rd of April, 2021. I had to do a quick scan on my diary to see if I had written something around that time. And then I saw it.

Ian looked deep into my eyes while we were having lunch. He saw my soul.. and tugged my heart.

That was the first time I finally acknowledged something was going on between us. His marriage was on the rocks and I still can’t get over my past boyfriend. But somehow, there is an indefinite something. An unexplainable emotion that both of us feel.

I’ve asked Google for some facts and learned that it was on the 2nd month of shooting. Surely, you’ve heard of the film Don Juana, right? We were both sex addicts. I bet you watched it a thousand times.

Anyway, the whole production lasted for more than a year, with the principal photography and the post coinciding. Ian and I were together for 8 months. We traveled a lot for the film, and the whole team seem to know that there was something.

On the 6th month, Ms. L the director, Ian, and I went to a motel room to shoot yet another sex scene. We only rented the place for an hour because Ms. L was confident we’d nail it less than the given time. But 30 minutes have past and we still didn’t get the perfect take we’re looking for.

Ian was feasting on my neck when the director yelled “Cut!” And then suddenly, Ian suggested that we should make it real. It was a mistake to leave the porn doubles at the city, obviously. But I don’t know what got into me when I immediately agreed to his proposal. Ms. L didn’t say anything but her actions said we were all in this.

Ian and I made love(?) passionately. And rather aggressively. But it was not what you saw on the film. The three of us decided to burn the memory card and keep that secret forever.

We slept together again on the 8th month. I remember telling him that this was wrong when he came rushing on my room to kiss me. But he said that we both want it. And he’s right, we wanted it, needed it even.

He asked me that night, “Why can’t we be together?” To which I answered, “We just can’t, it’s that simple.”

We talked about his wife and my ex. How we both know we’ll be able to fix our own problems. That I still love that man and that they’ll never get a divorce.

He told me to not think of that while we’re together. Since our time was ticking. I told him he was like the boyfriend I never had in high school. He said I was like the mistress he’ll never get. And that ours was a relationship that will never be.

Throughout the shoot, Ian would hug me when he got a chance. Usually that happened when we’re left alone on a set. But I remember we kissed a lot on the plane, while everyone was sleeping.

The last time we hugged each other was during the after party of the awards night. I didn’t get another Best Actress nor did he receive a first Best Actor, but we got the Best Picture, which was all we ever dreamed of.

Today, Ian has a 3-year-old. And I’m married to the man I’ve always loved for about a year and a half. I don’t know why he sent me a message. Maybe it just so happened that it was April 23 and he remembered the lunch we had four years ago. Or he could have planted that moment (and date) in his mind without knowing it. Or perhaps, I unexpectedly appeared in his mind. Like how he occasionally does in mine.

I decided not to text Ian to greet him back. After all, it was a relationship we never had.

Sweets,
Red T.A.